I’ve found another blog (well, a home page) that seems to fit into and fill out my thinking and my experiences – with one exception: I’m a bit wary of words like “truth” and “enlightenment”. I prefer “information”, and the Norwegian word “bakkekontakt” … “ground contact” … as in having both feet on the ground.
Here’s an article that goes well with
“Putting the light from enlightenment in its place”
I’m quoting from the author’s presentation here, and want to add that I agree completely with what he writes about mild childhood trauma, and about our culture as being highly traumatized. Kudos to an ex-psychotherapist with the balls to write (and yes, I’m shouting): “I view the norm in our culture as being highly traumatized, and I view the average, and even above-average, childhood as being extremely traumatic – and the average parent as lacking both awareness of this and deep empathy for the child.”
From my viewpoint as a parent and grandparent, let me add that in thinking this, I do not think that parents don’t love their children. As I see it, most parents do the best they can. (And when I said this to two young fathers whom I consider to have good parenting skills, they reacted simultaneously with “Oh, no, we certainly don’t do the best we can!” That self-awareness might be one reason why I see them as skilful parents)
I certainly don’t think that many parents look at a new-born baby and say to themselves: “I’m going to do all I can to stunt this child’s growth and make life difficult and miserable for this little baby.” And so many of us have had miserable lives because of harmful parenting by people who themselves have been subjected to harmful parenting.
What can we, as parents, do? I decided that this cycle of harm stops with me. I gave the people who harmed me responsibility for what they did, and in doing so, was able to see the many mistakes I myself have made as a parent. When my children have confronted me with things I have done, and I have been able to own them, take responsibility for them, and not try to hide behind excuses and good intentions.
Sorry, I got sidetracked … here is the complete presentation of the author of the enlightenment article:
My name is Daniel Mackler and I am filmmaker and musician in New York City. I also worked for ten years as a psychotherapist in New York, though I ended my therapy practice on March 1st, 2010. My writings focus on the causes, consequences, and radical significance of childhood trauma. I see childhood trauma as ranging from the extreme, which is common, to the mild, which is so much MORE common that few even notice it at all, much less call them by its proper name. I view the norm in our culture as being highly traumatized, and I view the average, and even above-average, childhood as being extremely traumatic – and the average parent as lacking both awareness of this and deep empathy for the child.
I see our world growing more pathological, confused, polluted, overpopulated, and disturbed by the day – and I feel that to stand by and say nothing while we destroy our planet is irresponsible and even criminal. Yet I write with great hope – both for individual healing and for the collective healing of our world. I seek to offer a new perspective – on relationships, on enlightenment, on celibacy, on the pathology of the family system, and on the future of our species.