Advice against rape: “You have to think that there is a person in there."

one of the Norwegian blogs I follow, I came across a post that fits perfectly
in with my previous posts, and w
the author´s permission, I have translated it.
Marit Elisebet Totland is a politician with a wide range of experience.
Here is a link to the original article, called 

And here is a translation: 

Marit Elisebet
Totland :

“You have to
think that there´s a person in there”

reporter in the national TV program “Puls” is talking with boys who have
committed rape, and asks how one can prevent this. One guy
answers that it helps to think that “there is a person in there”.

is completely correct. There is a person in there. But I find it disturbing that
this has to be underscored. Isn’t it self-evident?

our culture so body-fixated that we have to remind ourselves of what is most
important? The visible body is a living human being with thoughts,
emotions, evaluations and borders, and it has 100% value, regardless of what
others might think?

it´s not just borders that children and young adults need to learn about, but the
unconditional value of human life. That is the cornerstone. When we have a firm
base of knowledge about human dignity and worth, we can transform that
knowledge into respectful action, regardless of race, sex, religion, health,
age … the list is endless. 

Rape in the US military

Yesterday I posted some links under the heading “Men and Shame”.
And in today’s “Guardian” there is an article by Lucy Broadbent, called …

Rape in the US military: America’s dirty little secret

“A female soldier in Iraq is more likely to be attacked by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire”

And how is the US military like the Catholic Church? In the article, Greg Jacob, policy director at the Service Women’s Action Network, says:

“Rape is a universal problem – it happens everywhere. But in other military systems it is regarded as a criminal offence, while in the US military, in many cases, it’s considered simply a breach of good conduct. Regularly, a sex offender in the US system goes unpunished, so it proliferates. In the US, the whole reporting procedure is handled – from the investigation to the trial, to the incarceration – in-house. That means the command has an overwhelming influence over what happens. If a commander decides a rape will not get prosecuted, it will not be. And in many respects, reporting a rape is to the commander’s disadvantage, because any prosecution will result in extra administration and him losing a serviceman from his unit.”


In a blog called …

“No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?”

I found a great article called …

“Emotions: Threat or Menace?”

Here noahbrand writes:  “Guys, back me up on this. Picture two guys in a painful situation, and the first guy is openly showing his pain and vulnerability, and the second guy is sitting there stoically, one eyebrow cocked. Notice how you can’t help feeling that the second guy somehow won. Hell, I feel that way, and I know that’s insane. I’m the guy writing this post about how insane it is, and I still can’t disentangle that notion from my psyche.
I don’t know how to reverse this meme. Seriously, picture some kind of “It Gets Better” project where men, the manliest men available, openly confess their deepest pain and vulnerability in YouTube videos. Got it? Right, now picture the comments on those YouTube videos.”

Well, recently Jonah Mowry bravely uploaded a YouTube-video showing his pain and vulnerability:

Edited to add another link to this video, with an update from Jonah:

Take the time to read some of the hateful responses on YouTube, and look at some of the videos accusing him of lies and cheating … they are a toxic fruit of society’s norms for men.

And here is a balanced video response to the hate and denigration:

This whole shame thing takes me back to the late 80s, when I was one of many women who broke the taboos against speaking of childhood sexual violations. We found it helpful to look at the taboos in perspective, and remind ourselves that “this shame is not my shame, it is a shame that society has given me, and I do not want it!”

Maybe men can say the same, when they feel shame because of emotions that society does not want to see?


Today I am linking to an article  in “The Guardian” by  Mona Eltahawy, called:

Egypt’s naked blogger is a bomb aimed at the patriarchs in our minds

It begins like this:

“When a woman is the sum total of her headscarf and hymen – that is, what’s on her head and what is between her legs – then nakedness and sex become weapons of political resistance. You can witness how nudity sears through layers of hypocrisy and repression by following Aliaa Mahdy, a 20-year-old Egyptian who lit the fuse of that double-H bomb when she posted a nude photograph of herself on her blog last week.”

And ends like this:

“While Mahdy’s act has been hashtagged (#NudePhotoRevolutionary) and her name tweeted and Facebooked endlessly, others did not receive such attention. Samira Ibrahim, the only one of the women subjected to “virginity tests” who is taking the military to court for sexual assault, has neither a dedicated hashtag nor notoriety. Another woman, Salwa el-Husseini, was the first to reveal what the military did to them, but news reports have said she can’t raise a lawsuit because she doesn’t have identification papers.

Not only did el-Husseini speak out, she courageously agreed to be filmed at a session of testimonies on military abuses. Again, hardly anyone knows her name, her recorded testimony isn’t racking up page views, and she was called a liar and vilified for speaking out. Both women have vehemently maintained they were virgins.

If “good girls” in headscarves who kept their legs together only to be violated by the military speak out and no one listens, what’s the message being sent? When the military justified its violations by saying “those girls aren’t like your daughter or mine. These were girls who had camped out in tents with male protesters in Tahrir Square”, what’s the message?

Some in the liberal camp have accused Mahdy of “harming” the revolution by allegedly confirming the stereotypes of revolutionaries that its opponents hold. Shame on them! Why allow those opponents to set the agenda for “good” and “bad”. Since when do revolutions allow their conservative opponents to set the agenda?

When Mohammed Bouazizi, fed up with humiliation, repression and poverty, set himself on fire in Tunisia last January, essentially taking state abuse to its logical end, he ignited the revolutionary imagination of the Middle East and north Africa. Aliaa Mahdy, fed up with hypocrisy and sexual repression, undressed. She is the Molotov cocktail thrown at the Mubaraks in our heads – the dictators of our mind – which insists that revolutions cannot succeed without a tidal wave of cultural changes that upend misogyny and sexual hypocrisy.”

Here is a link to Aliaa Mahdy’s blog

What is the nature of reality?

Today I am linking to “Only Smarties have the Answer”, a video/ lecture / art exhibition  by Aidan Shingler.

A quote: “The Oxford Companion to the Mind defines psychosis as: ‘the misapprehension and misinterpretation of the nature of realty.’ This definition not only presumes that there is a correct way to apprehend and interpret reality, it also implies that to see the world through the eyes of the clinician is an accurate and superior way of perceiving.”

I specially liked one of the comments to the film, written by “Isisbridge”:

Are Are psychiatrists bad or mad?
    They certainly do a lot of harm to their patients, but many of them are quite sincere about what they are doing and really believe they are helping people. So it appears to be some form of delusion, which would indicate that they do have a serious mental disorder. A large perecentage also have delusions of grandeur, thought disorder, and incongruity of thought and affect (smiling at their patients whilst writing utter nonsense about them).
      I can find no evidence that psychiatry is a genetic disease or that it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Rather it seems to be a personality disorder, which stems from their early environment at medical school and their relationships with other members of their profession.
      Talk-therapy doesn’t seem to work with psychiatrists, as most of them lack empathy and have no insight into their condition. So they ought to be locked up for society’s protection.